Zorn (zorn) wrote,
Zorn
zorn

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Corsage

Today (in fact yesterday) I went to a flea market in the disco "Shadow".
Gruft-Fleamarket.
What is that you ask? Well, I did ask myself the same question.
A place where you can bye black cloths (Size XS or S), some silver pieces, some strange books (if one can judge a book by the cover) and CDs from bands I have never heard of.
I found myself a corset there, size 38. Now you have to ask 'what on earth do you do with such a tiny thing?'!
Nothing. Probably I will give it away.
I bought it anyway for one single purpose: It shall remind me of a rare moment of self-love.
It is not a stiff corset with fishbone and such it's a fancy thing with soft fabric and flexible inlays.
I had it in my hands (remembering Elfy saying: I have nothing to wear when I go out) and suddenly I wondered: why does anyone that tiny (no tits no hips) wear a corset? It makes no sense. There is nothing to shape. Someone like me should wear one. There is lots and lots to shape.
But (almost) anyone would say: "urgs. Case of bad taste - where are my sunglasses?"
And I would say the same. I would always prefer hiding underneath something like a tent. Useless thing to do: everybody will call me big (or worse) nonetheless.
Why does no one call me beautiful although I am undertall? I know I seem to be wearing a lif-ebelt, my butt is more a lorry's back but a sport-car's, I've got twice as much chin than the girl that could wear my new corsage. I know all that and I distaste it but why?
Someone could be wanting to touch me. I have a lot to offer one could want to touch. Do not get me wrong! I would run and hide at the slightest, hint that someone could be wanting that. I would be suspicious. But that's me.
And that' silly.
So I decided to go crazy. I will have my own corset. Size XXL - so what? I will look terrific in it - I am terrific - or is it terrible?.
At least I try to persuade me, that I will dare to walk outside as soon as I got it. So if you see me be kind or shut up :)
But on the other hand: I can wear my tent over this daring piece of clothing ...
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