Zorn (zorn) wrote,

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Random thoughts about Good Byes

Drove over to Elfy's place after work. Since she will be gone for over a week (I imagine her hovering over her friend's list the day she comes back and trying to keep up with the entries of 10 long days *big grin*) I thought that would be a decent thing to do: to hug her and wish her far-well.
Big shock when I found out that I forgot my keys at work. I was sitting in the bus that time and no chance to go back to fetch them, if I wanted to catch Elfy before leaving.
Well in the train the keys reappeared and so I was in time at her flat.
Besides hugging I wanted something else: I got Elfy an MP3-player for her vacation (and to say "thanks" for all the things she did for me during my illness) and what good would that be if she couldn't take it with her?
I think she liked it. That way I will provide her entertainment even when we are apart (virtually *g*).

When she finally picked up her suitcase I nearly laughed as I followed her towards Barbara's car.
This suitcase of hers is one of these old fashioned ones and with that and her dark skirt (knee-length) she looked like she'd hopped out of a post-war movie. The illusion scattered as she reached the car but ... still it was funny.

Days will be quiet without her.

I am a little weired when it comes to "Good Bye".
There were 2 persons I never met again although I couldn't have told: both were young. One got run over by a train the other one committed suicide - and the only comfort I had was that I had said good bye to them heartily when we last met. Nothing left unsaid. Still a sad thing to loose a friend but ... somehow it helped and made a difference.

I still remember that I did everything to be at the side of the two relatives I lost that were close to me during their last hours or at least before they did.
My great-grandmother died in hospital and she know she was dying and so were we. Everybody was there for the last time saying far-well. I know it meant a lot to her. She was not afraid of dying and I was very impressed. She taught me to live life at its fullest and you don't have to be afraid to have missed the best things.

5 years ago my grandmother (her daughter) died too - some days after a stroke. She only once regained consciousnessand recognized me (and my family). But still we held her virgil (is it called that when the late person isn't dead yet?) each of us (and we are not a big family) taking its turn.
Mine it was to guard her during the hours of night - student's liberties.
It a strange thing what you tell someone who cannot hear you in the intensive care unit.

The night she passed away her two daughters, her son and my mother's husband were with her. None of her grandchildren besides me. It was no big thing. Her temperature had been rising for hours. A sign that her body was poisoned due to the fact that her kidneys stopped working. We knew what was happening.
We stood beside her as the flatline appeared and she was gone.

I felt sorry but relief too. She had been such an energetic person and her illness had crippeled her and entombed in her decreasing body for years.
But her children were devastated. They had only reunited for Granny's sake a few month earlier and now they lost their Mommy and the new found family. They were crying like their was no tomorrow.

The nurse made them leave the room (She was a wonderful person. She said she would "make her ready and look nice for the very last look at her, so that we could remember her in better shape"). I stayed with that woman since someone of the family should (as I thought). I helped her comb grandmother's hair and found the false teeth that the nurse placed in my grandmother's mouth. It is amazing what difference that made. And after that I collected my relatives and brought them to their mother.

I was there for them. Although I had lost a woman I loved dearly (and had taken care for for several month before the stroke - student's spare time ...) they had lost something closer. And it made me feel better to help.

So ... that's it.
Nothing important and strange things to muse about - only because someone takes off for a trip to Italy.
Enjoy the night. And forgive me for writing poor English.
  • Post a new comment


    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.